“Remember, James. Knowledge is unlimited. You have to discover how much you don’t know. Only then you’ll be humbled by wisdom” said the grandfather as he lay on the ground. His leg was haemorrhaging heavily while the rain created a puddle of blood around him. The five-year-old boy wasn’t able to understand what his grandfather was talking about but he knew he had to leave his grandpa in the woods. The old man was panting profusely. Even in his last breaths, he regretted how he couldn’t teach his grandson anything and how all the knowledge is going to die with him. But he knew that James will one day know all the things he learned in his life and push his theories to a greater depth. His eyes started to blur out leaving his vision to memory. He knew that his time had come and welcomed his death gracefully.

I snapped out of my dream. No blood or tears or a kid to be worried about but the fear of death clung to my heart. Something left me shaken.

What is death? Is that the end of this life? Where will I go after that? Will I find new horizons? How did I build relationships, did all these people I meet in this life come my way for the first time? Did we have a past together……questions questions questions….

The silence was broken, thoughts interrupted as the phone rang …

“Do you have questions about your future? Message FUTURE00 and get your free horoscope read….”

‘Ugh annoying spam,’ I muttered as I cut the call. “Weird though receiving this phonecall just when i was contemplating about life…”

For a minute, I actually thought about messaging and checking out my horoscope…What if it was a sign..

I shook myself awake and slapped myself out of this thought.

“A sign?” I sighed dismissively. “No. There are no signs. There is no real Master Oogway who will appear from the dust and guide me on a quest to greater knowledge, and no real Rafiki who will ask me to join the circle of life. These are just people trying to justify their incompetence in seeing plain logic and practicality. And astrology? That’s the most lowly form even among the pretentious sciences, isn’t it” I reminded myself. After all, that is what I had been taught.

Thinking of that phone call or that dream would mean I’m fueling thoughts about things that do not exist, or rather, that I’m fueling thoughts, just generally speaking. And that was a crime in this house. Thinking you see, involved questioning, critiquing and appraising, none of which were acceptable here because according to my family, nothing good would come out of it. It wouldn’t get my sister a good match, it wouldn’t get me a good job, and it certainly would not pay the bills.

I knew all this. I knew the values I was supposed to have, all the women in my family had inculcated these well enough. But it was getting more difficult day by day to ignore the fact that I had a mind, that I had questions, and that I could not stand being silenced anymore.

I had been visiting the city library secretly for the past few months. It had a beautiful collection of knowledge. I had read about God, religion, Kings, battles that had waged across the world.

I now wanted to read about stars, planets and the universe. I had met someone at the library, an astronomer, he had told me about how black holes work and what a shooting star was . It had been interesting listen to him ramble on about his telescope and how he used physics to locate celestial bodies. He used to say that stars are million lightyears away and by the time we see one it might have already vanished in reality.

Nevertheless, I was fascinated and I wanted to know more.

I kept making trips back to the library in the hope to feed myself with more such knowledge. The fascination was so overwhelming! My thoughts and head were constantly wrapped around everything that astrologer said. But I never found him there ever again!

“Was it an illusion? Was it my imagination? Was he really ever there? Did I even meet such a person?” I asked myself whilst staring into my reflection on a rainy window.

“I guess everything is just an illusion after all. Everything is just a dream after all. Maybe we are just fooled by thinking we are even living such a life. What if our lives are actually just an imagination of some larger beings? Where do we get answers to all of this? There could be so much more that we are not even aware of. Or rather, there is only so much that we ARE aware of. We are just limited beings. With respect to knowledge, to connections, self awareness and pretty much our existence itself.” said the reflection, as it gently disappeared with the rain stream on the window.

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