11th January 1995
Hey Carol,
I’m so glad to hear from you. I will not lie about how much I used to miss our random conversations from my college days. Post-college, I used to assure myself that maybe you are happy in your new relationship and that’s why I should also be happy for you. I was still figuring out who I was and what I wanted to be… I guess, life just happened to both of us. Anyways, let the bygones be bygones.
Now that we are back to rebuilding our bond, let me tell you a few things that are definitely going to cheer you up. I’ve finally started doing all the small things I’ve always wanted to do in life- travel solo, color my hair and collaborate with NGOs in my free time. When college ended, I thought maybe I should leave all this for retirement and focus on getting a good job and make good money. I thought these two things can’t go hand in hand.
Over time, I’ve realized we can fit whatever we want in this tiny life with infinite time. I’ve even learned watercolors, I was so impatient with that art medium and now I can spend hours with the brush with no absolute thought or reference in mind about how the final picture should look like. I guess that’s how even life should unfold, na?
I still haven’t mustered the courage to let go of my guard and fall in love with someone. I’m a coward like that. You are brave, I think, to let that emotion occupy space in your life. Irrespective of what happened, you gave love a chance. Now maybe, give yourself a chance? Find enough things about yourself that you admire. I can help you here: You have a beautiful smile. (I hope that made you smile).
With each day we learn something new about ourselves. Do tell me what you discover next.
Forever in search of serendipity and soul,
Maddy