My Lifeblood, My Lares,
I hear the flap of your wings in my ears, humming — forever humming. Do not doubt my trust. Our astral intertwining is kindled by the constant place of hope you have established in my breast.
— No. — No. He watches! —
Even beyond those ten-thousand-foot-high gates, gates formed of nothing but disheveled, rusting pearls, his gaze affixes itself to me. Father’s, that is. Adam’s eyes took no notice of my departure. His pupils contracted as my bare body shrunk in his vision.
Dilated, so they did, when that clothed creature passed me by at what used to be mine and his, his and my, doorstep, fragrances of flowers blooming with faux aromas flowing from her. She took no notice of me. As if I were dirt upon the soles of her clothed feet.
— These words may ring true as mine, but do not be fooled like the generations to come, My Lares, as I lack the control and clarity of thought I once possessed amongst the flora. I fear they — father and son — have infected my words, the one bastion I wished to retain forever. Fool! Fool. —
Coldness reigns in the doomed sunlight. Pyre upon pyre tempts me to throw my person to the flames. Blistered hands once brimming with God-given grace weep with pain and pus, my abandonment of what I was bestowed with finally catching up to me. Perhaps I truly am the belly-breathing scum I so vehemently denied being. Nothing more than the skin I attempt to shed.
— I must stop my pen. Or, must my pen stop me? I no longer can distinguish between what tells the truth and what makes love to the carrion of lies surrounding all that once was me… Spiral, my mind. Choices I once believed to be mine have been cast with doubt. The further I walk from the walls I once called paradise, the clearer things become. Yet, the harder it grows to express them. My body revolts me. —
I am mistaken. Ignore me. I am well.
I must be quiet for a time. Rest and recuperate in my new, deserved, world. Worry not, My Lares. I will forever be here, awaiting your words.
Sincerely yours,
Lilith